


clear your search history (burn down your isp)

by alesford



Category: Wynonna Earp (TV)
Genre: Except in Season 3, F/F, Ficlet, Fluff, Fluff and Humor, Humor, Improper Use of Department Resources, No particular timeline, Silly nonsense, or after
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-28
Updated: 2018-08-28
Packaged: 2019-07-03 14:48:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 500
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15821088
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alesford/pseuds/alesford
Summary: Some people (who shall not be named) have been using the internet at the Sheriff's Department to search things not relevant to serious, official police business.





	clear your search history (burn down your isp)

**Author's Note:**

> This is just a silly little drabble/ficlet that came out of a brainstorming conversation with a couple friends. You know who you are.

 

**clear your search history (burn down your isp)**

 

It’s a quiet, boring, weirdly demon-free Thursday. Waverly sits cross-legged on top of a desk with her laptop open in front of her. Wynonna has her feet propped up on the same desk, her butt comfortably sat in a swivel desk chair. She wiggles left and right, back and forth, shifting her hips this way and that. Her eyes are glued to the phone in her hands.

Only Waverly looks up when the door to the no-name division office swings open, followed by the sound of Nicole’s heavy boots thudding against the scuffed linoleum floors.

“Do you guys wanna tell me why our ISP is inquiring about search patterns and streaming habits originating from our offices?”

She’s all deputy sheriff authority and no-nonsense, stuck-up suck-up. Sometimes Wynonna wants to punch her. Especially when Nicole turns to her first. She offers an impassive shrug. “Uh, Jeremy’s reading too much _Twilight_ fanfiction? Doc keeps Googling how to trim the bush on his face?”

Waverly tries to hide her snort of laughter. It isn’t funny. The grumpy look on her girlfriend’s face isn’t funny or cute or any other word besides professional. Not funny at all.

Nicole pulls out a printout of highlighted search terms and begins reading. She uses the same tone of voice as when she’s reading the white cards in a game of Cards Against Humanity. Sarcastic, slightly irritated, and kind of sexy.  
  
Her eyes narrow as she recites, "'how to castrate your baby daddy', 'how to murder a vampire', '3d printing bullets', 'how much do 3d printers cost', 'best way to make cash fast', 'hours purgatory credit union'."  
  
Waverly turns to stare at her sister. "At _work,_ Wynonna?"  
  
Wynonna shrugs. "Yeah? What do you search?"  
  
Waverly's mouth opens and closes without a response.  
  
Nicole continues to read off the list. "'how to find your unicorn'. That one must be Jeremy. 'where to buy occult items near purgatory ab', 'summoning religious entities', 'ancient sumerian flashcards', 'where to buy—'" She coughs to cover up the last item she was about to read.  
  
Wynonna snorts. "Give me that," she gripes, swinging her legs off the desk and crossing the room. She snatches the paper from Nicole's hands. "'Violent Crime Trends in AB, Canada', 'TAC training for sheriff's departments', 'Tips for cleaning up crime scenes'. Ha!” She points an accusatory finger at Nicole’s face. “You're trying to cover up a murder, too!"  
  
"I was _trying_ to figure out how to get the blood stains out of the wood at Pussy Willows."

“Oh. Yeah. I guess that makes sense.”

Waverly drops her head into her hands and Nicole gives Wynonna a blank stare. “Uh-huh.”

“Gotcha.” Wynonna begins to crumple the sheet of paper from their internet provider before pausing in her destruction of official inquiry. “Wait… what was that last thing that Waverly searched?”

There’s a simultaneous shout of, “No!” followed by the bodies of her best friend and baby sister tackling her to the ground.

 

 


End file.
